Pumping Iron Review (Arnold Month)

Pumping Iron

While now infamous for his contribution to Hollywood Cinema, Arnold Schwarzenegger started his career as a competitor in the world of bodybuilding. This 1977 “documentary”/ drama primarily focuses on the ‘Austrian Hulk’  as he contends for the title Mr Olympia. The film also includes the actual ‘Incredible Hulk’ from the 70s/80s TV series, Lou Ferrigno , and Franco Columbu, who played minor roles in Running Man and The Terminator. It’s a film that deals with bodybuilders with immense goals and personalities, and this comes through the entertaining interviews with the individuals. 

Elements of the film have been exaggerated and ‘acted’ such as Lou Ferrigno’s Dad, who in reality had little to do with Lou’s career. However, his ‘performance’ is hilarious and brings further humour to the film. Its a simple piece of cinema that gives further insight into the monstrous, sometimes grotesque and addictive nature the sport has had on its athletics. The sheer lengths and regimes they endure is fascinating, and keeps the film interesting.

Overall, I can’t criticise Pumping Iron in the traditional ‘film critic’ sense, but it is a very well-done documentary/ drama piece of cinema. It has gained ‘cult’ status due to Arnold’s early involvement, and that of Ferrigno’s. Though I’m personally not interested in the world of bodybuilding, it’s various interviews with the early look at the 'stars' are surreal, yet entertaining. Its a great ‘sports film’ with a lot of human drama.

7/10

The following section of text is a quote taken from the film. It describes Arnold’s ‘addiction’ to his bodybuilding lifestyle, in a slightly obscure but hilarious manner: 

"The greatest feeling you can get in a gym or the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps, blood is rushing in to your muscles and that's what we call the pump. Your muscles get a really tight feeling like your skin is going to explode any minute and its really tight and its like someone is blowing air into your muscle and it just blows up and it feels different, it feels fantastic. It's as satisfying to me as cumming is, you know, as in having sex with a woman and cumming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym; I'm getting the feeling of cumming at home; I'm getting the feeling of cumming backstage; when I pump up, when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling, so I am cumming day and night. It's terrific, right? So you know, I am in heaven." 

Here is the video: 

Hercules in New York

Hercules in New York  (1969)

A professional film critic would rather bite his own tongue off, or jump headfirst down the aisle stairs of the theatre, then criticise or watch this film. Yet, while currently scoring 2.8 on IMDB, Hercules in New York is a spectacular experience. The story follows the Greek demi-god, Hercules (Arnold Schwarzenegger) as he is suffering from boredom while on Mount Olympus. He asks his father for a vacation to Earth, yet his request is refused. However an accident results in Hercules being hurled into.......wait for it.....New York City, and intentional or unintentional hilarity ensues. Bodybuilding, the Mafia, brawling sailors and a fight with a grizzly bear (which is a man in a bear costume), its all here as Hercules tries to make sense of his new surroundings. Inevitably he falls in love with Helen (Deborah Loomis), the daughter of a college professor. Meanwhile, back in Olympus, Zeus and the Greek gods try to bring Hercules back.

This was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first ‘acting’ job and it is certainly not a debut to be proud of. Funnily, his Austrian accent was so strong that his lines were dubbed, and my god its horribly fantastic. His physical presence is also hilarious. With his monstrous muscles from his career as a professional bodybuilder, he looks completely out of place in New York. This is one guy you don’t want to mess with. Yet, he is by far not the worst actor. That award goes to the Arnold Stang’s performance as an annoying short-arse, sidekick Pretzie. His voice, is acting and his direction is terrible, it just plain bad.

Hercules in New York’s director, Arthur Allan Seidelman, has made a film that is entertainingly bad. The acting is rubbish, the story is stupid, the dialogue is written by a 5-year-old and the overall production is very cheap (the Greek costumes look to be from a fancy dress shop) . All this bundles up to form a package that is so bad, that its hilarious and a “fantastic” debut for Arnold. But to be honest, what do you expect when the film’s poster looks like this: 

A Month of Arnold Schwarzenegger

With the recent confirmation of Arnold's role in the next Terminator film, and the announcement of the animated series 'The Governator', I have decided to be post short reviews of some of his films (both good and bad). From his 'classic' delivery, to the over-the-top action scenes, Arnold has made a substantial mark on action/adventure cinema. Therefore, this will be a sort of 'tribute' to the big fellow.

 Enjoy and if you do not 'then the hell with you!!'

Entertainingly Bad: Batman and Robin

Batman and Robin 

In my opinion, Adam West is Batman. Forget Bale, Keaton, and Kilmer, West is the man. From the infamous cheesy dialogue to the incredible fight scenes, my first ever experience of Batman was the 70s version from Batman: The Movie, on VHS. I was never able to see Tim Burton’s interpretation of Batman during my childhood, due to their ‘dark’ nature and my age. Therefore, my first cinema experience of Batman was Joel Schumacher’s film, Batman Forever. When comparing it to Nolan’s interpretation of Batman, Batman Forever is bad, but I still find it entertaining and quirky, due to its place in my childhood. However Schumacher’s sequel Batman and Robin is a different story. It tainted my whole perception of Batman as a superhero until Batman Begins. It was bad, but now looking back at it as a ‘film lover’, I have to admit that it is a guilty pleasure.

Here is my breakdown:

The Story: The dynamic duo, Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O’Donnell) attempt to stop Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) from taking over Gotham......then the world!!! Simple really. 

The Star:  Arnold Schwarzenegger: From his hilariously, unthreatening costume with glitter body paint, to his infamous dialogue which consists only of puns, what is there not to laugh at. With lines such as: ‘What killed the dinosaurs?.... The Ice Age!’ or ‘Ice to meet you’, you can’t help but just giggle. Schwarzenegger’s career is priceless. From killing millions of bad guys and the Devil (yeah believe it or not: End of Days), to being pregnant (Junior), his acting career is ‘brilliant’. Yet, it’s his deliver that is his trademark. The heavy Austrian accent, gives charm to his roles. From the ‘serious’ acting in Conan to the ‘comedic’ nature of Junior, it all creates a uniqueness to Arnold. And in Batman and Robin, its no different. Just epic, take a bow!!! 

Worst Actor (Bad and not funny): George Clooney: Precisely the reason he isn’t in my list of ‘Batmen’. God, why did they cast him as Batman?. He brings nothing but dullness to the characters of Bruce Wayne and Batman. Clooney just came across as being out of place. His deliver of the dreadful script was boring and uninspiring, he seemed to moan though his lines in a mono-toned manner. Just terrible. 

Worst Actress: Alicia Silverstone: Not only is she playing Batgirl , who I always thought was a useless character. Batgirl just seemed like a character that was implemented only to connect with the female demographic (if there was one). But was also there to bring another female character into the comics for geeks to drool over, along side Catwomen (ehhhh...right). She just seemed like a joke, and consequently took away the serious tragedy and pain that we felt for Bruce Wayne and Batman, in the comics. Now, in Batman and Robin, she really doesn’t add anything to the plot and the film in general. Batgirl only appears three quarters into the film, and then she does nothing ,except pose. One thing that really pissed me off with Alicia Silverstone's performance was her 'English Accent', as she is the niece of Alfred. Try and identify which part of the UK she is from. Its no British accent I’ve heard of!

Best Line: There are too many: Here are a few: 

Cop: ‘Please show some mercy!’

Mr Freeze: ‘Mercy? I’m afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy’ 

Mr Freeze: ‘Tonight, hell freezes over!’

Mr Freeze: ‘If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It’s time to feast!’ 

As you can see, all of them are from Schwarzenegger’s performance. But that’s why they’re great. His stern deliver, just makes the dialogue fantastically hilarious. I bet you that after you watch it, you’ll be quoting his lines endlessly. 

Worst Line: The First Bloody Lines: 

Robin: ‘I want a car. Chicks dig the car’

Batman: ‘That’s why Superman works alone’

A good opening to a film is one of the most important aspects of a film. From the opening, you need to convey the surroundings, the nature of the film and the characters. Batman and Robin got it terribly wrong. Not only showing costumes that had Bat Nipples and asses, but opening on an awful line. Obviously a reference to the DC Universe, but was it necessary? No! Was it funny? No! SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT! 

This piece of dialogue is also a great summary of Robin’s dialogue. For the vast majority of the film, he is complaining about how Batman is better, how he should have saved the day, how he should get the girl...... etc. And it’s terrible. Its like a whiny child who wants constant attention from his parents, and keeps crying and whining. They should have brought back Burt Ward!  

Best Prop: BAT CREDIT CARD: The Nostalgia Critic’s rant about this particular item is hilarious, go watch his review. The technicalities of this prop in relation to BATMAN, are fascinating. Just think about it: You have to give various personal details including: NAME, ADDRESS , PHONE NUMBER, SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS, and would need to show some sort of I.D (PASSPORT OR DRIVING LICENCE) etc. 

Bank Account Details:

Name	Batman
Address	Bat Cave,  Underneath Wayne Manor,  Gotham
Profession	Superhero
Phone Number	The Bat Signal?
Signature	Bruce Wa....... I mean BATMAN

Plus, why would Batman ever need money when fighting a bad guy. And why does Batman need a credit card? Bruce Wayne is a rich businessman worth millions, why would he need to borrow money?

Conclusion 

Batman and Robin, is just terrible. There isn’t a good thing about it. The dialogue is terrible, the action scenes are more camp than the 70s version (seriously) and it has GEORGE CLOONEY as Batman, what more is there to add. But, whilst in a critical perception Batman and Robin is terrible, just watching it is hilarious. All you can do is laugh. I suggest watching again with a bunch of mate, crate of beers at the end of a week. Maybe create a ‘Batman and Robin Drinking Game’, there's enough there to play with.